It's Never Going To Be Me, Is It?
by ForeverLoveAlways
Summary: Oliver has to face the consequences of sleeping with Sara. It's harder than he imagined, especially with another blonde involved. Set after 2x13. Olicity.
1. I'm Just Gonna Go

**Hey, this is my first fanfiction, and I really hope you guys like it. I wanted to write one for so long, but never really found the inspiration. This is set after 2x13. I really wanted to just write about that so I hope that you guys like it.**

**It's really short, and it's really just a tester to see if you guys like it or not. If you do, please leave a review, anything would be fine. Even a word to let me know if I should continue or not.**

**Disclaimer: Not sure how this works, but none of the characters belong to me, um, all rights go to their rightful owner. Yeah.**

* * *

Oliver lay beside Sara on the mat, gazing at her and running his hand through her blonde hair. They both had decided to let their pain and loss with both their families lead them to one another. Oliver remembered when Sara stood there in the lair, and he stood before her, staring and trying to decide whether to do this or not, because once it happened, there was no going back. And there wasn't. As he lay with her, he didn't regret it, because it had allowed him to release the constant tension in his body that never seemed to leave him. Whether it was going out every night, being the Arrow or being CEO at Queen Consolidated, it was just exhausting. So really, he needed this.

As he lay there with her on the mat, he heard the door to the lair open and he heard clicking of heels. His eyes widened and pushed off the mat, Sara doing the same. They both scrambled to put the rest of their clothes on while the one person he didn't want to see walked in. She hadn't seen them yet, but she knew he would be down here, so she started talking.

While coming down the stairs, she said "Hey Oliver, I just wanted to see how you were doing with what's happening with your mom. I'm sorry, I really am. I know that was bad timing but I just care about—" Felicity stopped talking when she turned her head and saw Oliver and Sara awkwardly standing there. She looked between them, and saw the realization of what she just walked in on hit her. The look on her face resembled the one in Russia when Isabel walked out of his room. When he saw it then, he never wanted to see that look on her face again, the one of pain and hurt. And the fact that he was the reason for it made it ten times worse.

He took a step towards her, "Felicity…"

She countered his step with one of her own, but away from him, and looked down to the floor.

She shook her head, "I just totally walked in on you two..." She gestured with her hands between him and Sara, "Sorry, I'm just gonna go and let you two get back to….whatever you guys….were doing.." She nodded shortly and turned on her heel to retrace her steps back up.

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut, and clenched his fists at his sides. He screwed up. Again. And unlike last time, where she believed him when he said it didn't mean anything, he knew that she wouldn't believe that now. Because this wasn't a one-night stand. He had feelings towards Sara he hadn't in a long time and although he knew it probably wasn't going to last, he liked the safety and security that came with Sara. She was the safe choice. She wasn't breakable, because she was already broken. Like him.

But Felicity was an entirely different story. She came into his life when he returned from the island, and since then she made him smile and laugh. She was a light in his life. But he couldn't be with her. She was his friend and right now, friendship seemed like the easiest thing. That didn't mean he wanted to parade around with women and shove them in her face. No matter how much he didn't want to hurt her, he somehow ended up doing just that.

* * *

**Alright. So that's it and I know its short but if I know that people read it, I would write more and longer chapters. I just want to know if anyone read it at all, so one word would be fine for a review. Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Why Am I Surprised?

**Alright so you know how writers say that reviews fuel them to keep writing, yeah, well they do. I was blown away by the response and I honestly thought no one was gonna read it. **

**So since you guys did read it, I made another short chapter for you guys. I didn't have much time to write a longer one, but I wanted to write something because I loved the reviews/favorites/followers so much. **

**So here you guys go, and I promise the chapters will be longer from now on. **

* * *

Felicity opened the door to her apartment, walked in and shucked off her heels. She closed the door behind her and threw her keys and jacket on the nearby couch. She sat down and held her face in her hands and finally allowed herself to think about what just happened. After she walked in on what seemed to drive the knife, already plunged into her heart at the sight of Oliver with Isabel, deeper into her heart, she tried desperately not to think about what just happened. She tried to shut her brain off and just drive her way back to her apartment.

She tried to think about work and how she had busy days ahead of her. But as soon as she was in the comfort of her own home, images of Oliver and Sara came to her head at lightning speed. And, of course, the pain that came along with it.

She didn't understand why she was surprised anyway. Oliver had told her that crap line about how he thinks that he shouldn't be with someone he could really care about. In other words, "you're my friend and I don't see you that way." The way he said made it sound much more romantic and more like a line from a movie when really, he was just friend-zoning her.

Because really, that line would also apply to Laurel. She was in danger as much as she was and that didn't stop him from sleeping with her. And yeah, Oliver had history with Laurel but at the end of the day, it wasn't gonna stop some psychos from using her as leverage to hurt Oliver. And that's what he is worried about, right?

And now Laurel's sister comes back, obviously just as gorgeous as her, but she's not as vulnerable as the Laurel and herself are. Sara's beautiful and strong and everything that should appeal to a guy like Oliver Queen, especially with a more complicated history with her than Laurel. So again, she asked herself, why is she so hurt and surprised that he would go for the Sara and not her?

She sighed and rubbed her hands across her face. God, how did she get herself into this mess? It feels like just yesterday she was just an IT girl with a normal life and normal job. Singular. She only had one job to wake up to, not Executive Assistant of the CEO and the "partner" of the Hood.

She lay down on the couch and twined her hands on her stomach and stared at the ceiling. Oliver kissing Sara came to her mind, holding her, hands wrapped around her waist, running through her hair, and she started to feel the stinging in her eyes, as the tears that she tried to hold back came to her eyes.

She got up suddenly and humorlessly laughed at herself. Her lips started to quiver and the tears started to fall and all she could do was let them.

She walked to her bedroom while her crying turned to sobs and managed to strip into her pajamas before she fell on her bed and curled into a ball. Felicity pulled the comforter up and turned her face into the pillow and sobbed, her lips shaking and tears that didn't seem to stop, ran down her face.

It could have been mere minutes, or hours, she didn't know, but her sobs finally resided and she felt the exhaustion and pain of the day catching up to her. Her eyes felt heavy throughout the entire day, and now she was having difficulty keeping them open so she finally let this horrible day come to an end.

* * *

**Again, one word reviews are fine, just to know people still have interest in the story. Chapters will be longer from now on. Thanks for reading :)**


	3. I'm Done

**Thank you guys so much for the reviews. I love reading them, and I try to reply to all of your lovely reviews. I'm so humbled and reviews really motivate me to write the next chapter, whether it be two words or a paragraph. **

* * *

Felicity's automatic alarm woke her up at 7 AM the next morning. She groggily opened her tired eyes and rubbed them. She let out a deep breath and sat up, leaning against the headboard, while she tried to will herself to get up and prepare herself to face what she knew would be an agonizing day ahead of her.

After a couple of minutes of just sitting there, thinking about the events yesterday, she pushed the comforter off her with a sigh and stood up. She headed towards the bathroom and after 30 minutes, she was ready. She brushed her teeth, took a shower, dressed in a turquoise and white striped dress that reached just above her knees, and tied her hair back into the usual straight, blonde ponytail. She kept her make-up to a minimal and didn't even bother to apply her bright lipstick. She picked up her bag, made sure she had everything she'd need for the day. Grabbing her coat and her keys, she stepped into black ankle boots, headed out and prepared herself for the battle that awaited her.

When she got in her car, she took in a shuddering breath and told herself she could do this. Oliver had hurt her but it didn't mean she had to let it affect her whole life. She wouldn't be one of those girls whose life stopped because of a guy. She wasn't going abandon him just because he didn't love her the way she loved him. No, she would go to work and be his Executive Assistant and help him because through everything, he was there when she needed help.

The only difference would be that she was done. She was done being the lovesick fool that had an all too obvious crush on him which she knew most people at Queen Consolidated knew about. Actually to them, she was a slut who got her job promotion based on her skills in the bedroom. She wasn't stupid. She knew what people were saying about her and those looks she got when they thought she didn't notice. She didn't care though because she knew the truth so it didn't matter what they said behind her back. And she never complained because she thought Oliver was worth it. What a stupid fool she was.

As she drove to QC, she repeated to herself over and over again that Oliver would never want to be more than friends with her. That people like her, an ordinary IT girl, didn't mix with people like him, billionaire CEO. Besides, she wasn't even his type anyway. He was more into the leggy, brunette type, women like Laurel, Isabel, McKenna, Helena. Of course there was the occasional blonde she saw him with if Sara was any indication or a supermodel he had on his arm for his playboy image. But never her.

She stopped by the coffee shop to get Oliver and herself a cup of coffee. After grabbing their cups, she drove to QC and parked her car. She waited a couple minutes to prepare herself for seeing Oliver again and told herself that she wouldn't cry. She wouldn't look at his face once and fall for the blue eyes that could make her do almost anything.

Sucking in a deep breath she got out and headed towards the building. As she got in the elevator, she released the breath she was holding and waited for the elevator door to open. She was prepared. She was going to be strong.

As they opened, she turned her head to find Oliver sitting at his desk, looking over some papers. As he heard the doors open, his head turned up and his eyes met hers. She averted her eyes almost immediately to look down on the desk in front of him rather than his face. She walked to his desk with surprisingly strong legs, and set the coffee cup down on his desk.

"Thank you." Oliver murmured.

"Anytime," she replied flatly and turned around and started to head to her desk when she heard him call her name.

"Felicity." She squeezed her eyes shut for a second, knowing what was coming. She opened them and as she turned around, she saw him stand up and come towards her. "About yesterday, look—," he began but she cut him off.

She shook her head. "Let's just add that to the pile of things we don't discuss," she said curtly, looking up, nodding her head quickly and headed back to her desk before he could reply. She didn't want to hear how he was dangerous to her, how being together could put her in danger. He was going to tell her everything she didn't want to hear.

She set her stuff down, and powered up her computers and tablet. She sat down, and quickly glanced in Oliver's direction, seeing him still standing there, looking like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if he should. Not that she wanted to hear it. She reminded herself that she was done.

So for the next hour or so, she was proud of herself when she barely spared a glance at him but rather focused on organizing Oliver's meeting schedules and family dinners.

When she knew she had to remind him of his meeting at 10:00, she got up and walked to his desk. He looked up as he heard her approaching and slightly smiled.

She stopped in front of his desk. "You have a board meeting in about an hour. I've made some notes that should help you." She handed him a few papers and as he looked them over, she started to head back to the safety of her desk.

"Hey, Felicity…" She looked at him and he got up, rounded the desk and stood between her office and her. He leveled her with a sad look, before he spoke "I know you're hurt, but I didn't sleep with her to hurt you. That was never my intention. I don't want what happened yesterday to affect us—"

She stopped him right there. As emotionless as she tried to be, she wasn't about to let Oliver delude himself into thinking that him sleeping with Sara wouldn't affect them. He very well knew how she felt about him, and the fact that he thought she would happy and perky the morning after she had her heart broken by him showed that he didn't know that she was in deep. He didn't know that she had fallen hopelessly in love with him.

And his indifference got her a little annoyed. "You're delusional if you think that sleeping with Sara wouldn't affect us at all. Wouldn't affect me." She pointed at herself. She then averted her eyes and spoke softly "The last time I asked you 'Why her?', you told me it sorta just happened. So let me ask you a different question. Did it mean anything to you, Oliver?" She looked him in the eyes then and she could see him swallow and press his lips together while giving her a pleadingly look.

"I…Felicity…" And that was all that needed to be said. She brushed past him and headed back towards her desk, with her heart breaking just a little more.

* * *

He knew Felicity had put a distance between them. He knew it when she set the coffee on his desk. She hadn't looked at him or flash him her bright smile. She hadn't sat down on the corner of his desk and talked to him. She hadn't rambled, she hadn't asked him how he was.

He knew he had a board meeting at 10:00 and throughout that next hour, he kept waiting for her to come to his desk and remind him. For a moment he thought she wasn't going to but when heard her get up and make her way towards him, he couldn't help but smile then. He didn't think he had ever been more happy to have a board meeting.

But his smile quickly faded when she handed him her notes and retreated. He quickly got up and placed himself between her and her office. He tried to make her understand that he didn't want to hurt her and he didn't want it to be like this but she cut him off and asked him a question that he knew she knew the answer to. He didn't know what to say, something that wouldn't make the situation even worse.

He stuttered and tried to think of something to make it better, but she walked past him. He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing himself for getting himself in this mess.

He should have known this would happen. Felicity wasn't the type to give him the silent treatment or say good-bye. That much he remembered when he yelled at her for being more in Central City than with him. She was pissed at him that day, but she still helped him, still talked to him, but only as much as necessary. He apologized that day when he couldn't take it anymore, and she forgave him, and they were back on solid ground. He remembered missing her that day when she wasn't even gone. She was right there, but she wouldn't talk to him the way he needed her to. Wouldn't make him smile or laugh. He missed her. And now he screwed up again. And this time, it was different. This time he hurt her, messed with her heart. And he had a feeling one apology wasn't going to make it better.

* * *

As it came close to 7 PM, she started packing up her stuff and shut down her computers. She turned off the lights and headed out. Oliver had already left for a family dinner at six after he had told her, hesitantly, that he would be at the foundry by eight. She knew he was doubting whether she would show up and still help the Hood after what transpired but she just nodded without looking at him. He had paused, and she thought for a second he was going to say something, but as she started to look up, he left without another word.

As she drove got to the foundry, she walked down the steps to find Diggle and Sara training on the mats. She watched them for a second, watched Sara perfectly execute moves she would never be able to do. She couldn't even be jealous of Sara. This wasn't her fault, she wasn't the one to blame. She was kind and strong, and even when Laurel had judged her when she first saw Felicity with Oliver, Sara hadn't. Felicity admired her for that.

With a sigh, she walked to her computers, sat down in her chair and started gathering information about their latest psycho. William Tockman.

* * *

**So tell me what you guys wanna see. Thank you so much for your support thus far, and please please just give me a sec of your time and leave even a one-word review if you wish. Thanks for reading :)**


	4. Can I Fix This?

**Alright, I'm back with a new chapter. Thank you guys so much for reviewing last chapter. Hope you like this one :)**

* * *

Felicity yawned. She sat at her computers, trying to find more information on William Tockman, who of course, also goes by a creepy, villain name, the Clock King. She sighed, and turned in her chair to watch Diggle and Sara still sparring with ease. She watched them for a while before her stomach growled and she realized she didn't eat anything in six hours.

Deciding to get some fries from Big Belly Burger, she got up and grabbed her coat. "Hey Dig, I'm grabbing a bite to eat, want anything?"

Dig broke his concentration with Sara momentarily, and shot her a smile. "Nah, I'm good." Felicity looked at Sara, but she shook her head no.

With that, she headed upstairs and drove to Big Belly Burger and ordered small fries to go. After getting her order, she drove back to the foundry and walked down the steps to find Oliver had joined Dig and Sara. She watched them for a moment, saw them so in sync with each other. They looked like a team, strong and unbeatable, and she wondered where exactly she fit in.

Walking back towards her computers, she sat down in her chair and popped a fry in her mouth. She was just about to start her search on William Tockman again when she heard a loud smack behind her. Whipping around, she stood up quickly to find Sara holding her head.

Dig rushed towards her. "Sara, I'm so sorry!"

Felicity looked at Sara with a concern expressed etched on her face, but other blonde just took in a deep breath and replied, "It's ok, I'm fine." Sara held her head and closed her eyes for a second.

Oliver came up from behind her. "Let me see." When Sara didn't turn around, he became more insistent. "Let me see." She turned around and Oliver examined the top corner of her head, glaring at Dig. "She's bleeding. But it's not deep."

Then Sara made some remark about one of Dig's scars and soon they were discussing their scars and how they got them. Felicity sat back down in her chair. She looked to the ground while they spoke, feeling more out of place than ever. She turned back around and tried not to feel hurt while continuing her search on the Clock King. God, she was so unreasonable sometimes, so what if she didn't have scars?

She heard Dig come up beside her, giving her a knowing look. Somehow, Dig was always there when he knew she was alone. Shooting him a small, sad smile, she turned to face her computers again, listening to Oliver trying to convince Sara to go family dinner. She glanced at them and immediately wished she hadn't. If her heart already hadn't been broken, it was shattered now.

Sara leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Oliver's lips, which he returned. She quickly turned around and tried to block out the rush of emotions she was so determined to forget. She reminded herself she was done, that she wouldn't pine away at a guy who didn't see her that way. But god knew it was hard. When Felicity had walked in on them, she'd just been in shock and knew she had to get out of there. Out of a place she always thought she would never have to because to her, it was home. And then Oliver had decided to do what he did and now she walked down those steps with her guard up.

And although she suspected that Oliver would rekindle his relationship with Sara, after what she witnessed that night, she couldn't help but have that little hope inside telling her that maybe it was just a one-night thing. That maybe it was just for fun, and she wouldn't have to be subjected to see it again. But that hope was destroyed now from the kiss exchanged between them, and from what she could tell, Oliver and Sara were letting history repeat itself.

She shook her head and tried to convince herself that it was a good thing, that it would just help her move on. Their relationship would be a living and literal reminder to her that Oliver was never hers to begin with and never would be.

Her computer dinging pulled her out of her self-pity party, bringing her attention to the results displayed on her computer screen. She finally found some background information on William Tockman.

"Hey Dig, I got something," she informed him as Dig turned to look at the computer. "So his name is William Tockman but calls himself the Clock King, who suffered from McGregor's Syndrome, and he's a former bank robber."

"What's the point? He'll be dead before he can spend all the money," Dig inquired.

"He's not using the money for himself, he's using it for his sister who suffers from cystic fibrosis," Felicity answered, looking up at Dig.

She heard the door to the lair close and glanced around to see Sara had left, while Oliver approached them. Her eyes met Oliver's and she quickly turned back around.

Dig got up and faced at Oliver's approaching form. "Alright man, guess we can finally catch this son of a bitch," Dig informed and walked past him to grab his guns.

"I didn't catch what you said, Felicity. What do we have on this guy?" Oliver had his jaw clenched, looking annoyed for whatever reason. He stood right behind her, hand on the back of her chair, so close that she could smell his scent from there.

"Here," she replied in a tight voice. Felicity got off her chair and gesturing with her hand to computer screen, indicating to him to read it, and walked off with jerky legs to the washroom.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she closed the door. Trying to block out Oliver's face, and voice, and smell is so hard when she spends more than 12 hours with him each day. For the past year or so, he had consumed her thoughts and now she was finding it difficult stop them. God, she was so pathetic. Her life practically revolved around Oliver Queen, all the way from his playboy persona to the Arrow.

While she stood there, she wondered why she ever allowed herself to fall in love with Oliver Queen, because it proved to be the best way to kill her heart.

* * *

Oliver was pissed.

It started when he walked down to the liar, expecting to find Felicity and hopefully earning her forgiveness, but instead, he found Diggle and Sara. When Dig told him she went out to grab something to eat, he relented and started training with them.

Then, Sara had kissed him. He responded because he didn't want hurt yet another woman in his life, already regretting the first time he had done so. But he pulled away quickly, hoping Felicity hadn't seen, only to look up and find her chair spinning quickly. He cursed under his breath and mentally kicked himself. No matter how much he tried not to, he always paraded women in Felicity's face. He couldn't even deny that fact.

And then when Sara left, he heard Felicity informing Dig about the information she had found on William Tockman, in the voice she only used with him. He couldn't help but feel a little jealous of Dig and a little annoyed at Felicity for not talking to him. She always came to him with information she had found on their latest criminal but now she was avoiding him. And he couldn't really blame anyone but himself.

And now, when he asked her to relay the background story, she told him to look himself. Now he was hurt but he knew he didn't really have the right to be because he brought this on himself. God, he already missed her and he knew he had to fix this.

But he was scared he wouldn't be able to.

* * *

**Please, please leave a review. Even one word. Like anything, honestly, just so I know that people like it and read it. And criticism and suggestions are totally welcome because it's my first time writing so it helps me improve. Thanks for reading :)**


	5. Time Flies

**I honestly didn't expect this big of a response when I first decided to write this story so thank you so much for all the reviews/favorites/follows. **

* * *

Felicity sat in the lair trying to repair her computer system after the Clock King had effectively fried it. She couldn't help but feel like she failed the team because the one thing that she was supposed to be good at, she failed miserably.

So now, she sat alone in the lair, distinguishing between parts that survived and ones that hadn't. Dig had left to get takeout from Big Belly Burger after reassuring her that she was valuable which she still questioned and Oliver had left with Sara to go to the Lance family dinner, which in her opinion, screamed disaster. Because really, Sara and Laurel weren't on good terms right now, reason being Oliver, and she didn't think bringing said reason to family dinner, when Detective Lance barely tolerated Oliver, was going to help the situation at all. But hey, it wasn't her place to say anything.

Suddenly, her tablet dinged and she sprang up, hurrying to grab it.

Tockman had changed his location, he took the bait and was now at Starling National.

Knowing he wouldn't be there for long, she quickly called Dig, and when she heard the ringtone of his phone coming from the medical table, she realized he had left it behind. Cursing under her breath, she called Oliver. After a few rings, it went to voicemail, and she tried again, but it again went to voicemail.

She hung up in frustration. Sitting down in her chair, she contemplated her options. If she decided to go by herself to try and stop Tockman, Oliver and Dig would be extremely pissed. But of course, when she tried to do what they told her to in this situation, they don't answer her calls.

Knowing this might be one of the only chances to catch Tockman, she decided she would have to go herself, screw if they got mad. _'Take your damn phone with you and pick it up then' she thought._

Grabbing her tablet and laptop, she uploaded the same virus Tockman had used to explode her would be the key in her plan. She smiled to herself. She would take down Tockman in her own style.

* * *

Everything had gone according to plan. She had got in and hacked into the surveillance cameras to try and locate Tockman. That is until she couldn't find him.

Then she sifted through rooms and after a couple minutes, she began to think that maybe Tockman had fooled her and wasn't really here at all. She walked through another room, and found that empty as well. But then she heard something behind her.

"Looking for me?"

She whipped around to find Tockman with his gun raised directly at her chest. Everything that happened after that was a blur. She heard a gun shot go off and she moved quickly, diving to the side.

She felt a searing pain go through her shoulder and looked down to find the bullet embedded in her right shoulder. She tried to see through the pain, but man did it hurt. How the hell did Oliver and Dig do this?

Trying to ignore the pain, she squinted at Tockman. He stood with his arms spread.

"You don't even know why I'm doing this," he told her. She tried to sit up but that only proved to send more jolts of pain through her, so she leaned against a wall, making sure her tablet was not visible to him.

But if Tockman realized that she in deep pain, he didn't show it, instead continuing his explanation. "The money's not for me. I'm doing this all for her," he shouted and Felicity understood he was talking about his sister.

"Doesn't make it right," she tried to reason with a pained voice. She glanced at her tablet, the virus completely uploaded. She looked back to Tockman.

He was grinning, shrugging his shoulders. "Tempus fugit," he simply stated and raised his gun again. Felicity took that as her cue.

"Time flies," she responded and touched a button on her tablet, causing Tockman's phone to explode and sending violent tremors through him, effectively knocking him out. At least she really hoped it knocked him out.

She let out a sigh of relief and slumped. The pain in her shoulder was crushing. How the hell was she going to get herself out of here?

Carefully maneuvering herself, she pulled out her phone and dialed Dig's number but again, he didn't pick up. God, what were they doing that was so important they couldn't pick up?

She would have to call Oliver but she knew he was going to be pissed. Reluctantly, she dialed his number and this time he picked up.

"Hey," she heard him breath out.

She tried to keep her voice even so he wouldn't notice something was wrong. "Hey Oliver," she greeted in a sugary tone. "How was dinner?"

"Felicity…" he sighed. "What did you do?" Crap.

"Nothing…nothing…funny story actually, so Tockman took the bait. He was at Starling National and—" Oliver cut her off.

"Felicity…" His voice was frightening low and she could feel the anger. "Don't tell me you went after this guy by yourself." She cringed and the movement sent another jolt of pain through her shoulder. She let out a involuntary, small hiss.

It didn't go unnoticed by Oliver. "Are you hurt?" he inquired and she knew he was trying to reign in his temper.

"No," she replied a little too quickly.

"Where are you?"

She squeezed her eyes shut. "Um, I'm at Starling National…" she told him in a small, meek voice.

The silence from the other end was deafening. "Stay put," he practically growled and the line went dead.

She sighed and leaned her head against the wall, trying not to move because of her protesting shoulder.

After a couple of minutes, she heard footsteps approaching and turned her head to the side to see Oliver rushing towards her.

He crouched down so he was eye level with her. "Hey, where are you hurt?" he asked. She pointed her chin towards Tockman first, and Oliver followed her line of sight to see Tockman knocked out, gun lying beside him. He turned back to look at Felicity incredulously. "How the hell did you do that?" he asked in disbelief.

"He's been out for a while so he might wake up. And I just used his own virus against him," she explained, shrugging her shoulders and immediately regretting the action. She cried out as pain flared through her shoulder.

Oliver was immediately on alert and discovered her bullet-ridden shoulder. He leaned back to look at her face with a concerned expression. "Ok, Felicity, we have to get out of here. I'll look at that when we get back." He put one arm her waist and helped to her feet. She leaned against his side as he lead her outside into an alley, to her confusion. Then she realized that Oliver was dressed as Arrow so they couldn't let people see them together.

They walked quietly through the streets in the shadows, with Felicity leaning heavily on Oliver's side. He already tried to pick her up but she protested that it hurt too much. But she was exhausted and the pain was getting worse, something she knew Oliver picked up on when he stopped in another alley.

She leaned her back against the wall, trying to stay upright. Then Oliver was grabbing her uninjured arm. "Felicity, put your arm around my neck." She gave him a confused look, but did what he said. With one arm around his neck, and the injured one resting on his other shoulder, she felt him straighten. He pulled her closer, so she was completely pressed against him. Any other time, she would have blushed and blurted out an unintentional sexual innuendo.

Then she felt his hands on her thighs and her legs being lifted. "Oliver!" she squeaked and her eyes widened as she stared at him.

"I have to get you to lair and you can't walk on your own. This is the only way it won't hurt your shoulder" he explained while wrapping her legs around his waist. He started walking back out into the night. "And nobody will be able to recognize you. Just hide your face in my neck."

Oh god. She could feel his muscular, leather-covered arm on her lower back, supporting her while he walked quickly through the shadows. Suddenly she wasn't aware of the pain in her shoulder but Oliver's muscles flexing under her.

She was supposed to be done, she reminded herself. She was supposed to forget the feelings she had for Oliver and move on. Because otherwise her heart would get torn. She knew that, from experience. This whole moving on from Oliver thing was gonna be really hard when they got into situations like this. With her face tucked in his hood, she realized things were never easy when it came to Oliver Queen.

* * *

Felicity let out a breath as Oliver set her down on the medical table. She unwrapped her legs from his waist and loosened her hold on his shoulders. That awkward moment came when he realized he was still in between her legs, moving back so she could close them, while he gathered medical supplies.

He took care of her shoulder and she was proud of herself when she only let out a few whimpers when he took the bullet out and when he was putting in stitches. He had insistently told her to take painkillers but she refused, knowing herself and the embarrassing things her brain comes up to say when she's in her own high. She'd probably start telling him how she cried herself to sleep when he slept with Sara or some other embarrassing story.

Once he finished putting gauze over the stitches, she pulled his shirt that he gave her tightly over her front. He helped her down and she turned to face him. She smiled. "Thank you," she told him sincerely and because he was Oliver Queen, he returned it with a hard stare.

"That's going to be the last time I have to do that," he bit out. _Here we go, she thought._ She had been dreading this conversation ever since she called him.

She sighed. "Look, Oliver—" He cut her off.

"No." He glared at her. "What you did today, it was brave, I'll admit that. But it was stupid. You went in there with no back up, no weapon, nothing." She knew he was right, but she couldn't help but get defensive.

"Tockman would have gotten away if I didn't go after him. And I had a plan, Oliver. And it worked." That only made him more angrier.

"If it was between letting him get away or your safety, I would choose your safety. What you should've done is call Dig or I!" He was close to yelling now. And now that got her a little annoyed.

"I _did_! And neither of you picked up. Since Dig's not here, I'm guessing he's dealing with a family thing, so what's your excuse?"

He looked hesitant now. "Family dinner with the Lances didn't go as planned…"

"Shocker," she deadpanned. He shot her a glare.

"Laurel was dealing with some heavy stuff and I was trying to help her."

"And by 'heavy stuff' you mean you and Sara getting back together? C'mon Oliver, did you really think she'd be over the moon when she found out that you were sleeping with her sister again?" she asked him. She knew Oliver going to Lance family dinner was a bad idea.

He leveled her with a hard look. "That's not the point. The point is that you will never be doing that again, whether I pick up the phone or not," he said coldly. He turned around and started walking away.

"It's _my_ life, Oliver! My choices!" she shouted at him angrily. God, he was such a caveman.

He leaned down towards her face. "If you _ever_ try that again—" he threatened, but she cut him short.

"You'll what?" She couldn't stop her next words from spilling out. "Sleep with Sara again?"

She could tell when she said that, something snapped inside of him before he opened his mouth. She finally pushed him to his breaking point and she felt a little guilty for provoking him when he was already having a rough day, but what came out of his mouth next rocked her.

"God, Felicity, I didn't do it to hurt you! Because of things like what happened today, you and I," he furiously gestured between himself and her, "we're friends! And we always will be! You need to get that through your head!" he panted, staring at her awestruck face.

She didn't know what to say or how to react. She just kept staring at him in shock with blank eyes and the breath knocked out of her. Swallowing heavily, she quickly blinked her eyes and looked away, trying to ignore the deep pain that now made itself present in her stomach.

But she had gotten the message. She turned her head to face him again, and she could see the regret forming in his eyes.

"I understand. Loud and clear," she said emotionlessly and walked past him.

* * *

**Leave a review. Please. Criticism only helps me improve and suggestions help me guide this story. Thanks for reading :)**


	6. Nothing is ok

**Wow. I'm always blown away by all the reviews/favorites/follows I get. I try to reply to all your awesome reviews so thank you so so much for all of them.**

**Alright, so we pick up where we left off.**

* * *

Felicity hurriedly walked past the man who yet again, crushed her already broken heart.

She couldn't even be mad at him. It's not his fault she was stupid enough to fall for someone who didn't feel the same way. She brought this on herself when she helped him with his bullet-ridden laptop, even though everything about him screamed trouble.

Despite all the warning bells, even then she had this stupid crush which was probably due to the fact that he was insanely hot. Everything about him pulled her in to the point where she found herself in so deep, she couldn't find the way out. She fell hard and in the process, she forgot that he wouldn't be there to catch her.

She sped over to her computer desk, gathering important QC papers and her purse, stuffing everything in there as fast as she could. All she wanted to do was get out of there, get out of a place she thought she could call home which now felt suffocating.

"Felicity…" he murmured. She closed her eyes for a second, and continued to shove papers in her purse, not caring if they getting crinkled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

Ignoring the pang in her chest, she zipped her purse and turned to find him a safe distance behind her. She merely gave him a short nod, avoiding looking at his face, and walked around him.

"Felicity, please," he begged. _Block it out, she repeated, block it out._

In the hurry to leave, she had almost made her way up the stairs when realized she was still wearing Oliver's shirt. Crap.

Walking back down the steps, she headed towards the bag she kept in case of emergency. Pulling out a big hoodie, she carefully took his shirt off, trying not to bend her shoulder too much.

But putting the hoodie on proved to be a challenge. Pulling her head through wasn't too hard, but trying to get her arms through was difficult.

She heard his footsteps before feeling two hands turning her around, and she focused her gaze on the ground while he helped her get her arms through. It was torture, like the gods were playing a cruel trick on her. He was so close, feeling his gentle hands moving around her body but never the way she wanted them.

Once she managed to get it on, she could feel his gaze penetrating her and knowing Oliver, his face was probably all broody and sad.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for it to come out like that. I was just really angry and—"

"But you meant it," she said softly, meeting his gaze, his eyes confirming what she already knew. She felt her eyes stinging, and rapidly blinked. She would not cry in front of him, as if she wasn't humiliated enough already.

"No, it, Felicity, I," he flustered, and she almost wanted to laugh. The great Oliver Queen getting flustered over a girl, never thought she'd see the day.

He sighed. "I just don't want to hurt you." If she had a dollar for every time that line came out of his mouth. It was almost as bad as the _"because of the life that I lead..."_ line.

She rolled her eyes, annoyed. "You're just scared I'm gonna walk out on you, which, by the way, I'm not. So if that's what you're worried about, then you can breath easy," she told him, smiling angrily.

When he opened his mouth to uselessly protest, she raised one hand, shaking her head and grabbing her purse from the floor. "I'm gonna take the next few days off. That is, if I'm allowed to," she inquired, tilting her head.

"Yeah, of course," he replied quickly, swallowing. "Take all the time you need."

Giving him a strained smile, she moved past him, wanting nothing more than to go home and try desperately to forgot about this disaster of a day.

"Felicity." She paused mid-step, back facing him. What did he want now? "Please tell me we're ok?" he pleaded apprehensively.

She gritted her teeth. God, she wanted to slap him. _No, you idiot, you broke my heart into a billion pieces, nothing is ok!_

Ignoring his question, she stomped up the steps and headed straight home before he could say something anything else.

* * *

Well, he screwed up. Again. Lashing out at her again when he had a rough day. She always tended to be at the receiving end of this inevitable temper.

He remembered when he indirectly blamed her for the bomb going off when she was at Central City when he really, he was pissed that she was with Barry. And now the frustration of the day just wore him out and he needed to release it, and again, Felicity was at the brunt of the force.

Collapsing in the nearby chair, he wiped a hand over his face. It started with the Lances really. He knew it had the potential to blow up in his face when Sara convinced him to go, and that's exactly what happened. Laurel had figured out about Oliver and Sara and she had exploded.

After laying some truth on her, he got a call from the Felicity and he remembered his heart jumping. Their relationship had been rocky to say the least and she barely spoke to him, granted it was his fault.

And then he realized something was wrong, seeing right through her, and found that she had been shot. His heart clenched in fear, just like it had when the computers had exploded at the foundry. The whole walk back to the foundry, well, run really, was consumed with the fear that he had been hurt and he was relieved to find her uninjured.

So while he carried her to the lair from Starling National and cleaned her up, he couldn't stop the anger from consuming him when he realized she had voluntarily gone looking for danger.

Add that to his own family issues, and he had been more than ready to take it out.

So he snapped. As usual. He hadn't been lying when he told he didn't intentionally set out to hurt her. But when she told him that he meant it every word he said, he couldn't lie to her. Being friends was easy, it was predictable, it was safe.

And it had worked for a long while, he was able to keep himself in check, up until Barry Allen walked into her life and suddenly he wasn't on the receiving end of all her attention. He had convinced himself he wasn't jealous but just looking out for Felicity because at the time, he didn't trust Allen. Then Dig had laid some truth on him that he tried desperately to avoid thinking about because then he'd have to think of his feelings for blonde that had unexpectedly blown into his life.

Leaning his elbows on his knees, he sighed into his hands. God, everything was a mess.

How was he gonna fix this?

* * *

A week had passed and Felicity had proceeded to throw herself a self-pity party.

After everything that had transpired, she was glad to have this few days to herself.

Dig had come by the day after and she guessed Oliver had told him why she wasn't in her office at QC. She was annoyed to find him as angry as Oliver was, proceeding to give her a huge lecture. She assured him that she was fine now and then Dig gave her one of his knowing looks and started asking if her reckless behavior had something to do with the fact that she had been feeling a little excluded.

That was the last thing she wanted to talk about. She shushed him and playfully kicked him out, telling him to get back to being Oliver's black driver.

Now, she sat in her bed, watching TV and trying really hard not to think about how she'd have to see Oliver tomorrow.

She would be lying if she said she hadn't cried for a good portion of this week, wondering why Oliver didn't see her the way she wanted him to. Wondering how she could be so stupid to think that he would ever pick her over Sara or Laurel.

After what happened with Isabel, and him telling her that he can't be with someone he cares about, she tried to move on then. Barry had come into her life and she had thought maybe it wouldn't be so hard. But then he ended up going back to Central City, where he proceeded to be struck by lightning, of course, because it's her.

And then suddenly she was whipped into Oliver's family drama, with Malcolm being Thea's father, and she couldn't lie to Oliver. She respected and _loved_ him too much to do that. God, she sounded pathetic.

And then she walked down those stairs that night and got her heart broken, and shattered when he yelled in her face that they were friends. Talk about friend-zoning.

So this was her beautiful life right now, which was why she was wallowing in self-pity.

Getting up off the couch, she headed to the kitchen to grab something to eat, something that wasn't ice cream. Finding nothing, she slumped back onto the couch, sighing.

She needed to get out, get some fresh air, breathe. Actually, no, she needed a drink, and forget about her life right now. She sat up, glancing at the clock. It was almost nine. Springing up, she decided she needed to go to a club and have fun before going back to her job as Oliver's executive assistant tomorrow.

She would drink and party and just let herself forget that she was in hopelessly in love with a man who would never be hers.

* * *

**Now we get some fun for the next chapter and who knows, maybe Felicity will meet someone... ;)**

**Please please please leave a review. Thanks for reading :)**


End file.
